Monday, December 23, 2013

I always thought writing was the hard part, I was sooo wrong

I always thought writing thought was the hard part, writing the stories though has actually been the easiest the part. Now that I'm finished it's the editing, an evil and awful thing that makes me want to scream-and not in a good way. I read them over and over and still there's something I've missed each time. I thought I was a perfectionist I'm starting to doubt that as I'm ready to say fuck it and just put it all up without looking at any of the stories ever again. 

Here's the thing, I've finished seven so far and some came easy, others needed coaxing but I finally have enough work that I think will sustain me and any readers I might actually get for a little while. But it just feels like the more I edit so I can put it all up, hopefully by Feb, but at this point probably March the more it feels like it's all not done. It is so frustrating, I want to put out quality and I hate every error I find but I'm beginning to wonder how long it will take for just one to be perfect. Is perfect possible? I don't know, I just don't know. 

There's also this maddening wondering of, is this good enough? Will it all be for nothing? It's funny, I just read what I thought was a really great book and it's so good I feel the need to review to give the writer props and I see this rude review and I'm thinking, WTF? There will always be detractors there's no doubt about it. I remember reading once that you have to be almost insanely egotistical to ignore those that will try and pull you down. Umm, I've never been one for ego, so much so I am now worried about how others will feel about my work if someone didn't like a book I read that I liked so this doesn't bode for me. 

Added to that, another story started but has sputtered because I've been sick and busy, I hate that. It's the absolute worst feeling. This writing thing, yeah this shit is hard. 

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