Friday, November 28, 2014

My interview flaked

I have written about three different blogs to replace it however I am in a really bad place right now and the thankful one alone had over six curse words in only twp paragraphs so I'm going to give this weeks blog a pass.

I hope everyone had a good and safe holiday.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Fiona in flux

To speak in the 3rd person how full of oneself. Maybe because it's easier to talk about it as if it weren't happening to me. 

Things have been changing lately. I moved recently, my first thought was that it wasn't of my choosing but in every single way it was. Things have been changing, many good some ehh but necessary. It hasn't worked out quite the way I hoped but so rarely do things ever go as planned. I soothe myself by saying it won't last long. For better or worse. 

One of the these that wasn't planned was where I ended up moving, not to go into detail but it wasn't where I hoped I would be moving and it isn't very conducive to writing. The creative juices have dried up a bit and damn it's frustrating. I have two stories biting at the bit to come out but I sit down to write and the focus isn't there. Despite seeing them playing on the walls of my mind, I try to write and nothing is right, the words won't come. Love isn't on my mind or something that seems real in the slightest at this time.

Right now the feelings I'm dealing with is angst, frustration and anger-not erotic romance inducing. They have however stirred another story I have been working on for a while, of all things the story and plot of a hitter out of Chicago-yeah it's that bad. The problem with that story is it will be long and time consuming and not at all what I had planned. Yet it feels like I'm being pulled in that direction and it's the way I have to go for a little while. It's easier more satisfying to kill someone on paper and read it over and over again-yeah it is that bad.

So as a warning I have one story more than half written that I am going to work on and hope to have out by Christmas but likely that will be all for a little while in the erotic romance department. I don't want to force it and I don't want my stories to be half-assed so as a warning the stories I had planned won't be rolling out the way I wanted. Who knows, maybe it will change as nothing in my life is set in stone more like quicksand but I have to go where the stories come and work to create and give the stories their full due. The stories take precedence it feels like I'm just here to transcribe and get it right. 

This definitely is no end to my erotic romance as I am working too damn hard to finish the one for Christmas but likely there will be radio silence for that and after for a little while. More a warning, when the time comes the stories will come. I'm lucky, as when the time comes they come hard and fast and it likely won't seem like that long but I felt the need to share as someone was kind enough to help me with a story I want so badly to tell but it won't be here for a while longer than I thought it would be. 

Life is what happens when you make plans, so don't make them. Enjoy it as it comes, one day at a time.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

I have been trolled and seriously, all I could do was laugh

I wish I could be like my man, Dan, who never looks at his reviews or sales or googles himself but that isn't me. I want to thank the people who took the time to write reviews and those who will as soon as they find time in their busy schedules. I'm not a person who only wants to hear the good and ignores the bad. Is there something I can do better, I want to know and if enough people mention a specific issue then I know I have an area that I need to work on, GREAT! My betas are great but I had someone tell me The Gangster's Girlfriend was great and I should be shopping it to a publisher. Printing it out, the reader in me wanted to throw it away and start over. I didn't do that but it was a rework from almost the ground up. Another one that got a thumbs up was A Favor, nope gutted it and rewrote pretty much everything, only about 10 pages of the original made it into the finished product. If I have stumbled and didn't produce something that was worth the time and money, my apologies I did my best that I could to deliver the best story I could. A valid complaint I am open to hearing and have received a few in the past with returns but oddly no negative reviews and I can only shrug and move on. 

When I saw the first negative"review" for His Hidden Agenda I was taken aback, it seemed kind of over the top and considering the sales not valid. The person admits to only reading the sample and basing the "review" on that. Hmm, the sample is a hot and intense scene of oral sex I don't know why but I remember thinking this person didn't like the sex scene. I looked at her history and none of her books were erotic romance and one of the books she reviewed she wrote disparaging comments about the sex scenes. Bingo, moving on. Someone who probably needs more sex and a vibrator in their life wants to hate on someone who writes 'dirty' books. Whatever. Then almost two hours later (yes it is that bad.) I check again and there's another "review" that is pure and utter ridiculousness. Oh hell to the no, this person needs a therapist and it ain't me. For ten seconds I considered writing a response and then I laughed. I laughed like an idiot, okay this person they came out from under their bridge and they took a swipe at me. Honestly, I felt oddly flattered, for some reason I was enough of a presence she wanted to push me down. People only want to push you down when you are rising, it was something my father told me, 

So I laughed but then I reported the utter hate-filled "review" to Amazon and shockingly they removed it. They didn't remove the other one but ehh right now I'm looking at it as my gold star, I'm not low to the ground anymore and someone wanted to kick me down. 

Here's the thing this was one of the reasons I didn't want to write erotica or erotic romance because there are people out there who consider sex of any kind dirty and umm yeah if it wasn't dirty before I got a hold of it, it is now. My sex scenes are graphic and leave not a thing to the imagination, BUT remove the sex and is there a story that has a heart and the honesty of the fear, the tears and elation that finding and falling in love brings? Fuck yes. I'm not putting it out if it doesn't. In a few of my stories that story is pretty thin, I'm not gonna lie but sometimes it is, boy meets girls and puts up a tiny bit of a fight but when something is so good and right there isn't a whole lot beyond acceptance. So I filled in the spaces with the hot sex. It's hard enough to find success I didn't want to go out with a target sign on my back of being dirty and smut before someone even looked at me. Then the feedback started coming and the readers got it and I just said fuck it, this is what I write and I love it and I'm not half bad at it so fuck you if you don't like it. I'm going to sit in my corner and write my dirty sex and the trolls and haters of erotic romance can kiss my ass.  

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Second Excerpt for His Marriage Demand

Only .99 Cents 







His breath is against my ear in the moment before he speaks. I shiver at his heat, “Put the damn ring on and put the both of us out of this misery. I have the jet on standby. We can be in Vegas, married and back by the time you have to be home to get Justin off for school. You can be moved into my home, our home, by this time tomorrow night. You’ll be where you’ve belonged for so damn long. Enough hiding, no more endless nights of longing, put the damn ring on.
I can’t leave the project I’m on right now and I know you won’t want to leave Justin alone. We’ll do a honeymoon once school is out.”
Damn the needy moan escaping me as his mouth finds my ear and his tongue slides over my skin. A nip at the soft skin of my ear and I jump as he kisses me down the side of my neck. I’m not surprised he’s so damn good at knowing just where to linger. I push the words out, desperate to stop him while I can still think. “Why bother to purpose a marriage with a time limit on it?”
I’ve finally got his attention and he’s surprised. Pulling back, he looks down at me in confusion. “What the hell are you talking about, a time limit?”
“You said I had to sign a prenup for when it was over. I get the prenup but you said it like you didn’t expect it to last. So how long do you expect what you’re offering to last? Two months, two years, how long?”
“Jesus fucking christ, that’s what has you saying no? Ria, I’m not putting a time limit on the marriage. You’re still young, only twenty six and I’m not expecting you to go the distance. I don’t want children. Justin is already here, I understand your loyalty and love for him. I’ll do my best to make sure he’s cared for and knows he’s an important part of both of our lives. You might not want them now but you’ll probably eventually want children. That will be when our time ends. It will be up to you, I’ll keep you as long as you want to stay.”
Anger flares hot and bright at his words. Angry tears well up, and I push him away, he’s too close. Once again he’s saying I can have him but not really because yes, one day I want kids of my own. Only they won’t be his, the way I want them to be. “You know everything, don’t you? The Dragon of Chicago, cold-blooded, brilliant, demanding, arrogant and no one says no to you ever. Every fucking thing is planned, plotted, and everyone is just supposed to fall in line. Well, if you know everything then you should know I’m going to say no, again. I’m saying, no and I hope that ring is returnable.”
I turn and my hand is on the door. He moves fast, so fast my head is spinning as he pushes me against the door and presses his body against me. Heat flares everywhere, my skin is too damn tight and I crave something I’ve never known before. His mouth is on my neck and he’s not gentle this time, he’s leaving a mark. Drake’s hands are everywhere and I melt, my legs won’t hold me up. He feels it, picks me and he’s walking toward the bedroom of the suite.
Sanity hits me as he drops me on the bed, not gentle anymore. He’s tearing off his shirt. Even as my body aches for the hard muscular chest he’s revealing to press back into me, I’m shaking my head, words are too hard to form. I’ve lost the blazer to the uniform somewhere and half the buttons on my shirt are undone, without any memory of how it happened. Nodding, yes, he follows me down on the bed. Nimble fingers find the clasp of my bra in the front and opens it. His fingers are as greedy as his mouth as they roam over me. My skin tingles everywhere he touches. I want to feel him all over me, his skin against mine.   
            Wet heat flows as his mouth covers my breast and his tongue tortures me. My hands are going up to his hair to pull him away then they lose all thought once the feel of his hair silky soft connects with them. His mouth moves to my other breast and I feel like I’m coming out of my skin. Fingers move up to replace his mouth. It’s not nearly the same, yet it feels so damn good. I want more and I don’t ever want him to stop touching me.
            “Just as beautiful and as responsive as I dreamed you would be, so damn beautiful.” He murmurs as he looks down at me and his mouth is back on mine. He tastes of hot nights of sin and sex and I’m giving up and into him. Then I hear my phone beeping, it’s Latisha and sanity is rushing back to me. I freeze and he feels it. Tearing his mouth off of mine, he rolls off and away from me. I move as fast as my screaming body will let me, the loss of him of him is agony, it’s painful to move. My fingers are numb as I try to get the bra back together and do up the buttons of my shirt. I roll off the bed and start looking for my blazer.
            “Ria,” He’s weary as he watches me, “I don’t want you to go. This hasn’t been resolved.”

            “I don’t care what you want. So what, you can turn a woman on in bed. Half the women who encounter you probably get turned on without you touching them. I need more than that. I’m not marrying someone who’s looking for the exit before he’s even walked through the door. I sure as shit am not putting everything I have in jeopardy for a tumble in bed.”