Saturday, November 22, 2014

Fiona in flux

To speak in the 3rd person how full of oneself. Maybe because it's easier to talk about it as if it weren't happening to me. 

Things have been changing lately. I moved recently, my first thought was that it wasn't of my choosing but in every single way it was. Things have been changing, many good some ehh but necessary. It hasn't worked out quite the way I hoped but so rarely do things ever go as planned. I soothe myself by saying it won't last long. For better or worse. 

One of the these that wasn't planned was where I ended up moving, not to go into detail but it wasn't where I hoped I would be moving and it isn't very conducive to writing. The creative juices have dried up a bit and damn it's frustrating. I have two stories biting at the bit to come out but I sit down to write and the focus isn't there. Despite seeing them playing on the walls of my mind, I try to write and nothing is right, the words won't come. Love isn't on my mind or something that seems real in the slightest at this time.

Right now the feelings I'm dealing with is angst, frustration and anger-not erotic romance inducing. They have however stirred another story I have been working on for a while, of all things the story and plot of a hitter out of Chicago-yeah it's that bad. The problem with that story is it will be long and time consuming and not at all what I had planned. Yet it feels like I'm being pulled in that direction and it's the way I have to go for a little while. It's easier more satisfying to kill someone on paper and read it over and over again-yeah it is that bad.

So as a warning I have one story more than half written that I am going to work on and hope to have out by Christmas but likely that will be all for a little while in the erotic romance department. I don't want to force it and I don't want my stories to be half-assed so as a warning the stories I had planned won't be rolling out the way I wanted. Who knows, maybe it will change as nothing in my life is set in stone more like quicksand but I have to go where the stories come and work to create and give the stories their full due. The stories take precedence it feels like I'm just here to transcribe and get it right. 

This definitely is no end to my erotic romance as I am working too damn hard to finish the one for Christmas but likely there will be radio silence for that and after for a little while. More a warning, when the time comes the stories will come. I'm lucky, as when the time comes they come hard and fast and it likely won't seem like that long but I felt the need to share as someone was kind enough to help me with a story I want so badly to tell but it won't be here for a while longer than I thought it would be. 

Life is what happens when you make plans, so don't make them. Enjoy it as it comes, one day at a time.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

I have been trolled and seriously, all I could do was laugh

I wish I could be like my man, Dan, who never looks at his reviews or sales or googles himself but that isn't me. I want to thank the people who took the time to write reviews and those who will as soon as they find time in their busy schedules. I'm not a person who only wants to hear the good and ignores the bad. Is there something I can do better, I want to know and if enough people mention a specific issue then I know I have an area that I need to work on, GREAT! My betas are great but I had someone tell me The Gangster's Girlfriend was great and I should be shopping it to a publisher. Printing it out, the reader in me wanted to throw it away and start over. I didn't do that but it was a rework from almost the ground up. Another one that got a thumbs up was A Favor, nope gutted it and rewrote pretty much everything, only about 10 pages of the original made it into the finished product. If I have stumbled and didn't produce something that was worth the time and money, my apologies I did my best that I could to deliver the best story I could. A valid complaint I am open to hearing and have received a few in the past with returns but oddly no negative reviews and I can only shrug and move on. 

When I saw the first negative"review" for His Hidden Agenda I was taken aback, it seemed kind of over the top and considering the sales not valid. The person admits to only reading the sample and basing the "review" on that. Hmm, the sample is a hot and intense scene of oral sex I don't know why but I remember thinking this person didn't like the sex scene. I looked at her history and none of her books were erotic romance and one of the books she reviewed she wrote disparaging comments about the sex scenes. Bingo, moving on. Someone who probably needs more sex and a vibrator in their life wants to hate on someone who writes 'dirty' books. Whatever. Then almost two hours later (yes it is that bad.) I check again and there's another "review" that is pure and utter ridiculousness. Oh hell to the no, this person needs a therapist and it ain't me. For ten seconds I considered writing a response and then I laughed. I laughed like an idiot, okay this person they came out from under their bridge and they took a swipe at me. Honestly, I felt oddly flattered, for some reason I was enough of a presence she wanted to push me down. People only want to push you down when you are rising, it was something my father told me, 

So I laughed but then I reported the utter hate-filled "review" to Amazon and shockingly they removed it. They didn't remove the other one but ehh right now I'm looking at it as my gold star, I'm not low to the ground anymore and someone wanted to kick me down. 

Here's the thing this was one of the reasons I didn't want to write erotica or erotic romance because there are people out there who consider sex of any kind dirty and umm yeah if it wasn't dirty before I got a hold of it, it is now. My sex scenes are graphic and leave not a thing to the imagination, BUT remove the sex and is there a story that has a heart and the honesty of the fear, the tears and elation that finding and falling in love brings? Fuck yes. I'm not putting it out if it doesn't. In a few of my stories that story is pretty thin, I'm not gonna lie but sometimes it is, boy meets girls and puts up a tiny bit of a fight but when something is so good and right there isn't a whole lot beyond acceptance. So I filled in the spaces with the hot sex. It's hard enough to find success I didn't want to go out with a target sign on my back of being dirty and smut before someone even looked at me. Then the feedback started coming and the readers got it and I just said fuck it, this is what I write and I love it and I'm not half bad at it so fuck you if you don't like it. I'm going to sit in my corner and write my dirty sex and the trolls and haters of erotic romance can kiss my ass.  

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Second Excerpt for His Marriage Demand

Only .99 Cents 

His breath is against my ear in the moment before he speaks. I shiver at his heat, “Put the damn ring on and put the both of us out of this misery. I have the jet on standby. We can be in Vegas, married and back by the time you have to be home to get Justin off for school. You can be moved into my home, our home, by this time tomorrow night. You’ll be where you’ve belonged for so damn long. Enough hiding, no more endless nights of longing, put the damn ring on.
I can’t leave the project I’m on right now and I know you won’t want to leave Justin alone. We’ll do a honeymoon once school is out.”
Damn the needy moan escaping me as his mouth finds my ear and his tongue slides over my skin. A nip at the soft skin of my ear and I jump as he kisses me down the side of my neck. I’m not surprised he’s so damn good at knowing just where to linger. I push the words out, desperate to stop him while I can still think. “Why bother to purpose a marriage with a time limit on it?”
I’ve finally got his attention and he’s surprised. Pulling back, he looks down at me in confusion. “What the hell are you talking about, a time limit?”
“You said I had to sign a prenup for when it was over. I get the prenup but you said it like you didn’t expect it to last. So how long do you expect what you’re offering to last? Two months, two years, how long?”
“Jesus fucking christ, that’s what has you saying no? Ria, I’m not putting a time limit on the marriage. You’re still young, only twenty six and I’m not expecting you to go the distance. I don’t want children. Justin is already here, I understand your loyalty and love for him. I’ll do my best to make sure he’s cared for and knows he’s an important part of both of our lives. You might not want them now but you’ll probably eventually want children. That will be when our time ends. It will be up to you, I’ll keep you as long as you want to stay.”
Anger flares hot and bright at his words. Angry tears well up, and I push him away, he’s too close. Once again he’s saying I can have him but not really because yes, one day I want kids of my own. Only they won’t be his, the way I want them to be. “You know everything, don’t you? The Dragon of Chicago, cold-blooded, brilliant, demanding, arrogant and no one says no to you ever. Every fucking thing is planned, plotted, and everyone is just supposed to fall in line. Well, if you know everything then you should know I’m going to say no, again. I’m saying, no and I hope that ring is returnable.”
I turn and my hand is on the door. He moves fast, so fast my head is spinning as he pushes me against the door and presses his body against me. Heat flares everywhere, my skin is too damn tight and I crave something I’ve never known before. His mouth is on my neck and he’s not gentle this time, he’s leaving a mark. Drake’s hands are everywhere and I melt, my legs won’t hold me up. He feels it, picks me and he’s walking toward the bedroom of the suite.
Sanity hits me as he drops me on the bed, not gentle anymore. He’s tearing off his shirt. Even as my body aches for the hard muscular chest he’s revealing to press back into me, I’m shaking my head, words are too hard to form. I’ve lost the blazer to the uniform somewhere and half the buttons on my shirt are undone, without any memory of how it happened. Nodding, yes, he follows me down on the bed. Nimble fingers find the clasp of my bra in the front and opens it. His fingers are as greedy as his mouth as they roam over me. My skin tingles everywhere he touches. I want to feel him all over me, his skin against mine.   
            Wet heat flows as his mouth covers my breast and his tongue tortures me. My hands are going up to his hair to pull him away then they lose all thought once the feel of his hair silky soft connects with them. His mouth moves to my other breast and I feel like I’m coming out of my skin. Fingers move up to replace his mouth. It’s not nearly the same, yet it feels so damn good. I want more and I don’t ever want him to stop touching me.
            “Just as beautiful and as responsive as I dreamed you would be, so damn beautiful.” He murmurs as he looks down at me and his mouth is back on mine. He tastes of hot nights of sin and sex and I’m giving up and into him. Then I hear my phone beeping, it’s Latisha and sanity is rushing back to me. I freeze and he feels it. Tearing his mouth off of mine, he rolls off and away from me. I move as fast as my screaming body will let me, the loss of him of him is agony, it’s painful to move. My fingers are numb as I try to get the bra back together and do up the buttons of my shirt. I roll off the bed and start looking for my blazer.
            “Ria,” He’s weary as he watches me, “I don’t want you to go. This hasn’t been resolved.”

            “I don’t care what you want. So what, you can turn a woman on in bed. Half the women who encounter you probably get turned on without you touching them. I need more than that. I’m not marrying someone who’s looking for the exit before he’s even walked through the door. I sure as shit am not putting everything I have in jeopardy for a tumble in bed.” 

Saturday, October 25, 2014

I just want to say Thank You!

No corny bullshit I want thank Bookslut Goddess, Setta Jay, C.E. Black, Gladys from Nerd Girl Official, Lelani Black, Angela Snyder, Christi Williams, Antonio Lozada, Allison, and my real life support system Linda Dunlap, Chrishaun Keller and Dan Thompson. 

All of the people listed before my real life support system have helped me by simply being there. Retweeting, offering to do reviews and just being nice people who yes there is a certain level of give and take but there also felt like there was a tremendous amount of giving. Yes, several came for the Gandycandy (should I be thanking David Gandy as well?) but you stayed you retweeted me and gave me the exposure and help a person can't pay for. 

For the first month I'm seeing the kind of returns on Amazon I had been hoping for. Yes, okay it had something to do with now having a much larger catalog and maybe releasing the new four at only .99 cents but readers wouldn't have known about that without the retweets and the lovely reviews and the putting me out there in a way I didn't (which I know people will find hard to believe) and don't have the confidence to put myself out there. 

Will there be a repeat of this month, it would be nice but I doubt it. What goes up must come down but hopefully as I continue to put more out there I will be able to sustain a regular readership that will then suggest me to a new reader because I really think that's where the readers come from and that's why it felt so huge. Those people said, 'hey, check this out.' and the level of trust was there and the buys and the tries happened. 

For right this second my mind is quiet but there's an idea buzzing-thanks to Gladys- and then another. I'm in the middle of moving but hopefully in the next few weeks I'll sit down again and I'll write more and hopefully the story is good enough people will keep coming back and I'll be one step closer to being the full time writer I've wanted to be. This month has given me that hope so I just want to say thank you for those that through a little bit of kindness have helped me get one step closer to a dream. 

To my real life support peeps, they make the doubts, the fear, the constant questioning into something I realize I'm not alone in and it makes it easier to go back to the page and write. 

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Interview with the talented C.E. Black

Okay, so remember posts and posts again where I wondered if it would be a good idea to interview authors. My primary fear feeling like I was saying, hey this person is great and they suck and then I feel like people hate me or think I'm a liar. 

Those were the worries running through me as I considered C.E. Black. I had just hooked with her on Twitter I had barely read her description on Twitter how did I know if she was a good writer (everything is subjective but still) I wasn't sure and I worried. Then I got Cursed Desires and I was hmmm. I am not a huge PNR girl, I like supernatural, ghosts are my thing a psychic or even a demon maybe. The book looked interesting and it mentioned menage which in my midwest small mind is all gasp, haven't written one and don't think I will. Then as I'm reading I'm starting to wonder who is the third and then I think no freaking way, yes freaking way. Ghost sex, super duper hot! Fears exploded, I invited her and she was kind enough to say yes.

Where do you get your ideas? (Ghost sex, very hot BTW)

Truthfully, I’m not really sure where my crazy ideas come from. I think I just have an overactive imagination. I joke with my friends that my mind is not a place you want to hang out. But in all seriousness, in every one of my stories, there is a hidden truth to something from my life. For example, the idea for Cursed Desires, began with my husband and I went to Charleston for our anniversary. We love taking the ghost tours and on one particular tour of the jail, something or someone tugged on my pant leg. Before that trip, I went on a cemetery tour with some girlfriends and I remember the tour guide warning us about malevolent spirits following people home. Putting the two experiences together, I thought, what would happen if something followed you home? And of course, I had to sex it up, because, well, that’s who I am and what I write.

Do you have a typical day or routine?

Nope. I do tend to do my writing in the mornings after I get the kids to school, but other than that, I do whatever I’m in the mood for. Of course, pressing matters come first, like this interview,  and household necessities.

What do you enjoy the most about writing?

Getting these voices out of my head! I love seeing my story come to life and there’s a wild thrill knowing others read what I wrote. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of it.

How do you write, do you use outlines or is it more free flow? 

I’m a pantster. I hate doing things more than once. I’ve always felt like it was a waste of time for me. When an idea strikes, I just sit down at the computer and start typing from the beginning. Now there have been times that I’ve hit a block and then I might write down plot points for what happens in the next few chapters, but they are short, incomplete sentences that just help me get over the hump. Then I’m back to free flowing.

What made you want to become a writer? 

As a reader, I always had a problem with wanting to change the story. Not that the book I was reading was badly written, I was just curious what would happen if this character did this? Or this? And then my own stories would take shape. When I stumbled upon self publishing, I realized, writing wasn’t an unattainable dream anymore. And decided to try my hand at it. So far, I’m having the time of my life.

What drew you to PNR?

I loved reading PNR and there’s something freeing about writing it. The rules are different with PNR, because really there aren’t that many rules. Supernatural characters and the world that surrounds them can be anything I dream up.

What books or authors were your influences?

I fell in love with the Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris. It was actually the first book I’d ever read with a sex scene. I was fascinated that stories like that existed. Then I read Laurell K. Hamilton and fell in love all over again. But the author that truly inspired me to write, is Maya Banks. There was something about her work that just made me think, “I can do it. I know I need practice. I’ll need to work hard, but it is attainable.” And I’ve always had the notion that what will be, will be. If I bombed, then at least I tried.

Are there any other books or authors you're reading now you really enjoy? 

I read all the time. There are so many books, by so many authors, it would take me forever to type them all out.

What are you reading right now?

Nothing at the moment, which is unusual.

What are you writing now and when will we see it? 

I’m working on a few projects, but the one I’ll be focusing on is A Shifted Wedding. It will be a novella to add to my Alpha Division Series. I don’t know when that will be out... When I finish. :) Hopefully, in a few months. This month, I will have a new story released in a Halloween anthology called Grave Hauntings. Nine authors bring nine sexy, spine tingling stories and it will be free. The tentative release date is October 15th.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

His For More Than One Night

Kate Frazier wants one night and one night only. It’s the only thing she’s made for, the only thing she’s capable of. She doesn’t want any hand holding or cuddling, she wants to get off and then she wants them to leave. She likes her men, bland boring and non-threatening only the Nordic god staring at her from across the pub is anything but. One by one she’s breaking her rules for only one night because the moment he gets close she can’t help herself. 

Only Trey refuses to let it go at one night. He knows her secret the one she’s tried so hard to pretend didn’t happen, didn’t exist even as her nightmares still haunt her. He knows and has her admitting to the rape she suffered from her mother’s boyfriend for two long years and he knows about the frantic, ugly things she did with anyone who would have her in her teens. He sees it all and it doesn’t faze him, he wants the woman she is now and he’s not going to let her go. 
Now Kate has to make the decision to go through the painful door of her past to the other side where Trey and the happiness she never thought she could know is waiting. 

This is a standalone novella at 38,572 
Please be aware this is an erotic romance and is explicit 
Please be aware this book deals with the issue of child molestation and a woman's attempt to cope with what she went through.


Stepping out of the elevator I push my phone back into my purse and turn down the hall to my apartment. He’s there, leaning against my door. Air leaves my lungs in a rush and I stop, hardly believing it’s him. Then he straightens at the sight of me and he looks pissed. His anger gives me the backbone I had lost at the sight of him.
          I’m going for cool and barely pull it off, “What are you doing here? I told you before, one night only.”
          He smiles and it’s a knowing smile, “And I believe I told you there was a difference between what you want and what you need. I was patient but I’m done with that now. Open the door and let me in or I’ll fuck you here in the hall.”
          His sincerity is clear and I’m backing away. “Trey, I meant it. I don’t want to fuck you again.”
          He follows and grabs my wrist, lightning fast and pulls me up against the hard length of him. “Thank god, because fucking isn’t what’s really on the menu but we’ll get to that when you’re ready. Open the door, Kate.” It’s a whisper but a very clear command in my ear and when I don’t move his hand slips over my ass and below my skirt.
          I move then, fast, knowing he will keep his word. My key is in the door and I barely have time to turn the knob before he’s behind me. Pushing me forward, his hard cock against my ass and I’m wet immediately for him.
          “Good girl, I can smell you ready for me and I’ll be inside you soon. I promise you but first you have to pay for your bad behavior.” Sliding my zipper down, he takes my thong and skirt in one movement. His strength is on full show as he picks me up and settles me on the edge of the bed, my ass up at him. I shouldn’t be surprised by the stinging slap but I am and yelp. Once, hard on the right cheek and then slap against the left. Gasping, I can’t get air in before he smacks the right cheek again, harder and I’m gushing. My hands are clenching the covers and I bury my scream in the bed, wondering if I have just come from the spanking but the need is still eating at me. No, not a climax but damn close and then he spanks me again. I hear the sound of the bedside table opening and a second later he’s tearing open a condom.
          His name is a whisper, my throat is too tight for more.
          “I know what you want sweetheart and I will, later. Right now I need to be inside you and later I’m going to make you sit on my face for at least an hour, you’re punishment has only just begun. Especially as you loved the spanking, it wasn’t really a punishment.” With those words of warning he pushes hard and deep and it verges on pain he’s so damn thick.
          We’re both breathing hard and heavy and only the sound of flesh slapping against flesh fills the room for long minutes. My climax slams into me as violently as he has been and my pussy clenches hard and tight. The groan of my name thrills me as it spills from him at the moment I feel him fill the condom. His cock is jerking and I clench again, taunting him. Growling he pulls out of me and I hear the condom hit the empty trashcan and he’s up and undressing. I can’t move, I want to but I just can’t. Every bone feels like mush and the chuckle of knowing makes me try, without success.
          He lifts me easily and settles me in the middle of the bed. He’s naked and his fingers move quickly over my blouse. When he opens it and gets to my bra, he slows and lowers his face to the valley of my breasts. Breathing deeply, the sight of him enjoying my body so completely has me fighting the tightness in my chest. With one hand he undoes the front clasp and his fingers brush lightly over my breasts, circling a nipple before tweaking it with the slightest edge of pain.
          “So beautiful, so damn responsive. Night after night I dreamed of you, waking hard and aching for you. Beating off like a fucking teenager because of your stubbornness. How many have you tried to fuck since that night?”
          Closing my eyes, I can’t meet his eyes. How the hell did he know? “Two.”
          “Did they even get inside your apartment?”
          Shaking my head, I run my hands through my hair. It had been embarrassing. “No, never made it out of the bar. None of that matters, Trey. I can’t do this. I can’t be what you need me to be.” 

His Hidden Agenda

I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. He’s always so charming and gorgeous and everyone in the office loves him but not me. He’s my competition and I hate him. I deserve the promotion, I’ve given not just my nights but my weekends and even my marriage to this company and I deserve the promotion. Only it’s Alex my bosses are patting on the back and taking meetings with. I’m positive the only reason Alex is nice and smiling to me is because he’s trying to throw me off my game. Men as gorgeous as him don’t let their eyes linger on fat girls like me. He’s blueblood, I’m south side Chicago below the poverty line, he’s Harvard and I’m night school six years to get a degree, on paper it’s laughable. He can’t really want me, there has to be something he’s hiding, a hidden agenda only he knows. 

There is and when I finally find out I’m going to have the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. The company I’ve put my life into or a chance at the kind of love I never believed existed before. 

This is a standalone novella at 35,472 words. 

This is an erotic romance so please be aware it is explicit in content 


I’m awakened by a very annoying buzzing. I’m still in Alex’s arms and he lifts an arm and twists away for a moment and the buzzing stops, his arm comes back around me and my hand strokes his arm. I groan and my eyes open, the sun is just barely up.
          “What time is it?”
          “Six thirty, sorry, I set it as late as I dared in order to give me time to get home, shower, get dressed and get to work on time.” His voice is full of gravel.
          I turn in his arms and kiss his chest through the shirt. “Ignore me in the morning, I hate mornings. Thank you again, I’m just sorry you’re up so early after you not getting much sleep yourself.”
          He is stroking my back and then his finger is under my chin, “It was worth it, every minute, nothing to be sorry about.”
          Pressing against him, I feel him and he’s hard, I’m wet in an instant. His hand slides into my hair and he closes his eyes. “Don’t move sweetheart, please don’t move.”
          There’s no thought to what I do next, just overwhelming need. He’d lain in bed with me, hard and needy and asked for nothing. He’s gone down on me and given me the most intense pleasure I’ve had in my life. For some unknown reason this man wants me and thinks I’m beautiful and it makes me feel beautiful. I feel like I owe him so much more than I can ever give him. I want to do this for him. I really want to, I’m dying to know what he looks like, feels like and I can’t believe it but I want to know what he tastes like. My hand slides down his taut, hard stomach and slips under his waistband, he hisses my name. He’s not moving and I find him with my hand. Oh my, he’s thick, so thick my fingers don’t reach all the way around. I stroke from the base of him to his leaking tip and he’s longer than my vibrator it feels like. My vibrator is a satisfying seven and half inches but now I can’t wait to have him long and thick inside me. I’m stroking him and I move to pull down his underwear but his hand is around my wrist.
          “Alex, I want to. I want to taste you like you tasted me.” He comes then in my hand. I’m disappointed but I continue to stroke him until begs me to stop because he’s too sensitive now. A little of him is on my hand and I’m curious and taste him. I’ve read about women complaining about the taste. When I had tried the one time, it had been the gross smell of Larry and I hadn’t gotten any further than a few tentative licks. Now being able to taste him, I don’t get it, it doesn’t taste bad to me. I continue to lick my hand clean, smiling to know I’ve done something to ease his discomfort and because I’m glad to know when the time comes I won’t mind the taste of him.
          “Watching you lick your hand clean with a smile on your face has got to be the sexiest thing I have ever seen in my life.” His words are guttural from deep in his chest.
          “I like the way you taste.”
          He closes his eyes and rolls out of bed. “I have to go or I’ll make us both late.”
          I follow him out of bed and watch as he dresses. I can’t help sighing to watch him cover up his beautiful body. His eyes come up and he shakes his head with a smile.
          “Stay right there until I close the door. I don’t trust myself right now.” He orders and it’s my turn to smile.