Okay, I know it’s crazy to hate
someone you’ve never met before but Rourke Vega is not the average man. The
arrogant billionaire manwhore is to blame for turning my beloved Austin from
quirky, cool college town to hipster paradise.
It’s a good thing I don’t have to
deal with him while I help his mother recover from a stroke. Her, I love. Him,
all right I might have this insane desire to lick the dimple in his chin. Then
there’s the way from the outside he’s calm, cool, collected and in control as
if nothing fazes him. It makes me want to press his buttons, to make him lose
control, to see the fire he hides inside. The fire I felt all too briefly. The
fire I can’t forget even as I tell myself I’m crazy because no way could a man
as gorgeous as Rourke want a plus size like me.
If my plus size doesn’t put him
off my family situation will. Both of our lives are too complicated to add
romance to it. Besides, he’s made it clear for the six months I’m his employee
I’m off limits. Except he’s still staring at me with the heat of a volcano
ready to explode. Like a fool I’m drawn to the fire even when I know it means
one of us will get burned, but who? Excerpt:
The sliding glass door opens, I know
it’s her because I can feel her eyes on me.
going to head home now. I—we, Cheryl and I clicked very well. I’d like to take
the assignment. Skyler leaves with his mom the day after tomorrow.”
have someone move you tomorrow. Just make sure you’re packed and ready to go.”
shakes her head. “That’s not necessary—”
don’t care whether you think it’s necessary or not. I’m going to have someone
move your things tomorrow. They’ll call you to set a time.”
hands go to her hips, her top tightens over her breasts making my cock hard at
the sight. “God, you have to control everything and everybody.”
you can move yourself in the little car you drive in one trip? You won’t need
two or even three trips all the way from Round Rock to South Austin?” I allow
my eyes to run over her, giving into the need eating at me. One of my eyebrows
up, daring her to tell me I’m wrong. While at the same time biting my inner lip
not to smile at her frustration. She is adorable when she’s mad.
she shakes her head. “Okay fine, you know everything. You’re sooo much smarter
it’s hard not to laugh at her exasperation. “What I know is it doesn’t make
sense for you to spend three or four hours doing what could be accomplished in
half that time. What I know is no one else has ever bothered arguing with me
for making their life easier, except you. There will be an employee contract
here for you to sign. I’ll leave it between you and mom to set the things
outside of the contract. If you need me for anything, you call my cell.”
brown eyes glow up at me. “Yes, sir, anything else, sir? Would you like me to
go down on my knees in supplication, sir?”
I want you on your knees, have no doubt about that, but you’re now officially off-limits
as my employee. It’s my second rule, after get it in writing.” My cock jerks at
the lust in her eyes, at the way her breath catches and breasts swell and sway.
Fuck. What the hell was I thinking? Why
am I even acknowledging the attraction that will die soon anyway? “Leave, Olivia, before I make a liar of
doesn’t fucking move; her tongue comes out to wet her bottom lip and I moan at
the sight. The moan is loud in the silence. It shocks her. Now she runs like
she should have when she first laid eyes on me. Seconds later I hear the front
door slam closed. I’m so fucked. No. I won’t allow it to happen again. One
slip, I was allowed one slip, and that was it.
My blog posts are a whisper in the wind. I write them more for myself, to help me take a snapshot of a moment my cluttered mind might need to recall in the future. Something happened that helped me have a moment of clarity that I needed. With this latest WIP it was rough. His on Demand increased my few dozen readers to maybe a few hundred. And increased my anxiety of delivering a story these new readers will love. When although I love my readers and want them to love the story I want my characters to have the best story-to stay true to the story and sometimes that's a hard fucking line to walk.
I woke up in the middle of the afternoon as I'd fallen asleep around 1030 that morning to keep working on my story before I sent it to my editor to a punch to the stomach. What? Shaking my head I told myself to let it go even though it was a bitter pill. I've had them before, although maybe because it had been so long it was a little harder to brush off. Then I took stock of the punch and realized it was in fact a blow to the head to knock some sense into me. All the angst and anxiety and the freakouts that pushed me back onto the Lexapro and klonopin everyday were unnecessary.
The necessary is the story, I write to give my characters their best story and hope my readers connect with it. It was what I needed to focus on, not writing to please one person or another. I'm crafting stories. I think of every paragraph, and every sentence in that paragraph and every word in that sentence. I don't just sit down spit out a few thousand words and call it good. I need to let everything else stay the noise in the background.
Yet even as I type this it's still hard. It's still hard to let go of the punch to the stomach and not worry it won't happen again and how to make sure it doesn't happen again. I think it's time for another klonopin.
I just wanted to say, thank you. Of late, I have been going through a mini-crisis of writing is too hard, and I suck and nobody cares about what I write anyway. When I broke down and voiced this, I received immediate feedback that I was wrong. There were in fact two even a third person who cared what I wrote. They thanked me for my writing and told me to keep it up. This buoyed me so much I decided, I might as well finish what I'm writing as leaving things unfinished annoys the fuck out of me.
I took the time to go back and read through some reviews. As I did, the strongest responses I received were the ones where you featured as the muse, the guiding inspiration. When I sketched the story in my head it was you I pictured and man did it help-as the reviews speak for themselves. Personality wise, I didn't set out to imbue my leading men with David Gandy qualities because as bad as this sounds, I don't know them much. I promise I'm a lazy stalker, even electronically. My extent is a few videos but yes, all the pictures I can find I squirrel away for use when I'm trying to figure out what my leading man will look like as he roams the board room or my leading lady's heart. (Personally, love you in the suits. My phone screensaver might be you in a suit in black in white.)
I'm feeling like I should also admit I have used the photos of you I could find for my personal gain as in tweeting them mercilessly and thereby acquiring new Twitter followers and hopefully readers. There is also special thanks for the one time I posted to your Facebook requesting new pictures of you shirtless, as there hadn't been any lately and admitting I needed them to keep my followers interested and whomever ran your Facebook page was so kind as to post new pictures of you shirtless within 24 hours. Now that is the kind of responsiveness that makes a woman swoon a little.
Yes, I am writing this thank you after having recently taken my anti-anxiety medication but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to write it any other way. But I couldn't help feeling, I owed you the thanks and it's nice to hear every once on a while that the things you do have a positive impact even if you never meet or get to know the people it affects.
So thank you,
Some new shirtless pictures would be so awesome right about now. just sayin'
Amazon has made some changes. Authors love when Amazon makes changes *sarcasm* the thing is Amazon usually only makes changes because enough people scream about it, they just don't usually get the change they wanted.
Right now all the work authors go through to giveaway books in exchange for honest reviews is no longer working. It's a little painful really that authors have to giveaway a book in exchange for a review but we do it. We have to do it because even though there are readers who reach and contact us and tell us how much they love our books, they don't take the time to leave a review.
Every review you leave means something, it has an impact (please remember that as well if it's not a nice review) if you leave a review is shows others, hey you should buy this book. If enough people see that, it means I get to pay electric bill this month. It means I can continue to put out book after book of those stories you say you want to read.
Please, please, please leave a review on Amazon, on Nook, in iBook, where people are going to buy books it means so much. Not just for sales but when I'm down and this gets hard, I read the reviews and it gives me the kick I need to keep doing this.
I'm trying to do the interacting thing, joined a few groups, I've learned some stuff, I'm shared some stuff, I've met new people who don't suck. Overall, not a horrible experience.
Yet, there is something that I keep seeing that makes me wish I could go through the computer and smack people across their stupid faces. Not doing their homework and expecting information to be fed to them like they are this poor, weak, unable to take care of themselves infant.
I get this isn't easy, it's a part of the reason I do the blog, to share what I've learned-what I learned through trial, error and hours upon hours of research whether it was trawling Amazon (usually) into the middle of the night or looking for the answers from other blogs other writers wrote. I looked, I found the information and I know it's made me better at what I'm doing.
I'm sick to death of someone who decides they want to do this here writing thing and make lots of money only to discover this might not be that easy and hey, can someone tell them how to do this so? What tropes should I use? What's played out? What's a trope? OMFG!! Go online and look at Amazon and figure it out for your fucking self.
If I have to see someone ask for help one fucking more time on AMS ads, I might gouge my fucking eyes out-I don't follow that group anymore. I just go on every once in a while. It's the same damn question, read the history of everyone else who has asked.
Then there are the people who at the bottom of an hour long back and forth or even longer goes, how does this work? Read the fucking post where it was explained ad nauseum already (how proud am I that I spelled nauseum right the first time) anyway. What I'm saying is, ask the question but first educate yourself.
Download a few (I'd do at least 2 but 3 probably better) usually free books on how to self-publish then read through the hundreds-very literally hundreds of blogs that talk about self-publishing. Then pick your poison-DO NOT ASK PEOPLE WHAT YOU SHOULD WRITE. If you don't know what you want to write, like have a fucking genre picked then go sit the fuck down until you know.
Also, READ, READ, READ. I'm talking a book a week minimum if you don't have time to get through a 300 page book a week then you don't have time to write one. No need to read Dickens, Shakespeare, Austen, read what you want to read so you can figure out what you want to write. Then those books you love so much-take notes in the margins in a notebook-what did you like? What did you not like? Write down some dialogue you loved, why did you love it? Those books you love are what you need to write. Now the question becomes of those books you love can you make money writing them or do you need to steer it from buddy cop mystery to loner cold blooded detective with satellite characters to bring the humor?
The main reason I get pissed when people ask for information to be spoon fed to them isn't just because I'm a bitch-I am willing to cop to it-it's that not every freaking scenario is the same and what works for one person because maybe they are a better writer since they did their fucking homework and have the patter down might not work for the person who doesn't have their shit together and the answer becomes null and void.