Monday, July 31, 2017

On writing and the importance of the support of other writers

A few day ago, opening the story I've been working on for what feels like fucking forever I looked at it with loathing. Every word on the screen filled me with frustration, I was writing and had been writing for the last few days the ending (it was taking longer than it needed to because I hated it) that seemed right. Only it wasn't, it was all wrong so fucking wrong only I didn't know why exactly. So I let out a primal scream into the twittersphere out of frustration, simply needing to be heard not expecting anything back except maybe a 'been there, dear'. I got a response, at first I was wondering if the person was just being asshole. Then I was an asshole, to find out, of course. 

The response was not that of an asshole, it was a question that made me think about what I'd written so far. Which oddly enough, I had done but not really. I knew I'd gone off the path the story was meant to go but was blaming it on something different. I couldn't figure out how to fix it while leaving the something different in place-it was just as important to the overall story. Then it hit me, what was really wrong. As I thought about why it was wrong, it took exactly three minutes for me to figure how to fix it. 

After three days of pure hate for every word I was typing I took out a few stitches and was able to sew that shit back up, the right way for me. The interaction, as small as it might seem was huge for me. I would like to think I would have figured it out on my own but after how long and other words wasted? I'd actually shut it down and opened up another story waiting in the wings to work on. What if that person hadn't nudged me? Would I have closed it down only to open it up with more hate months from now and not fixed it? I kind of don't want to think about that too much. 

What I'm thinking is I miss my writing group. What I'm thinking is I'm thankful for that writer and all the writers who aren't on social media to be assholes but to support each other and help each other even if it's just a, 'hey, I see you too. It's hard but don't give up.'

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