Monday, May 30, 2016

Writing is work

With my commitment issues I don't have the best track record for jobs as well as cities. If I don't like something I quit. Because of this I found a fickle person's best friend is a temp agency. A few times I went to them to find a permanent job and sometimes I went for something temporary so I could pay bills while I found a job I really wanted. No matter what reason I took a temp placement I went in every day as if I wanted the job so they could keep me as long as I wanted and remembered that while I worked to get in. It worked, every temp assignment I have had requested me to stay longer and in the future if the job was truly just temporary. Twice companies put me in an uncomfortable position of having to turn them and them upping the salary offer-nice problem to have. 

Every time I sit down to write I do it with mindset of I want this to be my only job. Every time I create a tweet I do it thinking of that tweet being my knocking on someone's door and hoping they'll let me in as Fiona Murphy erotic romance writer won't you like me, my books and buy me forever. The money I spend I do wisely, do I want to spend three hundred dollars for editing? No but I do want people to remember that even if they didn't like the story itself it wasn't because of dropped commas, words and typos. Every book I sell is a brick I'm laying on the foundation of the home I hope to build as a full time author. Will it happen overnight? God no, hell it seems like decades are ahead of me, that's okay I don't have anything better to do because this is all I want to do. 

I spend at least fifteen minutes twice a day on twitter, retweeting, making connections and doing my best to be interesting to hopefully get a click to my page. Now please don't think every time I say hi, or retweet someone I'm rubbing my hands together while laughing maniacally as I think of the dollar bills floating through the air-not even close. I am genuinely hoping to make connections with people, because this is a lonely business and because if I didn't I would probably only have myself to talk to every day. What I'm trying to say is that this writing thing, at the nitty gritty it's a business and you have to work for it. Like anything in this world you get what you put into it and sometimes you don't get it back for awhile. If you aren't willing to put in the long hours, the money without return and the agony without any ecstasy then this isn't for you and kindly step aside for the rest of who do and are willing to do it every day. 

If you only want to write in between commercials of Gossip Girl or when the mood catches you for an hour or two a month then this isn't for you. If you aren't willing to edit until your eyes water then crash hard for six hours before your alarm goes off for the day job then just close your laptop and go back to playing candy crush on your phone. If apathy fills you at connecting with people just to say hey not buy my book or you can't get your shit together enough to put a blog or website up and update that shit at least once or twice a month then please stop calling yourself a writer and go back to reading. Does it sound like I'm being a bitch? Maybe and I'm cool with that. What I'm not cool with is listening to other writers whine or mumble with surprise why they aren't doing better when they aren't putting in the work. I hustle my ass off like my rent's due and my pimp is gonna beat my ass if I don't bring home the paper. Title by title it's paying off but I can't sit back and chill, I'm still working the day job and it still crushes my spirit every day when I have to get up and close my laptop to go to work. So I put in the time and I do my best not to whine or complain-but I'm a naturally whiny person and I'm always hundred percent grateful for every purchase and every review, every person kind enough to retweet and every author who says hey and share my shit and when I want to look at the distance to see how far I have to go I keep my head down and focus on the now as I move forward because it's now that matters, now that I work for and now that will become the distance I once looked up and saw. 

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