Saturday, November 22, 2014

Fiona in flux

To speak in the 3rd person how full of oneself. Maybe because it's easier to talk about it as if it weren't happening to me. 

Things have been changing lately. I moved recently, my first thought was that it wasn't of my choosing but in every single way it was. Things have been changing, many good some ehh but necessary. It hasn't worked out quite the way I hoped but so rarely do things ever go as planned. I soothe myself by saying it won't last long. For better or worse. 

One of the these that wasn't planned was where I ended up moving, not to go into detail but it wasn't where I hoped I would be moving and it isn't very conducive to writing. The creative juices have dried up a bit and damn it's frustrating. I have two stories biting at the bit to come out but I sit down to write and the focus isn't there. Despite seeing them playing on the walls of my mind, I try to write and nothing is right, the words won't come. Love isn't on my mind or something that seems real in the slightest at this time.

Right now the feelings I'm dealing with is angst, frustration and anger-not erotic romance inducing. They have however stirred another story I have been working on for a while, of all things the story and plot of a hitter out of Chicago-yeah it's that bad. The problem with that story is it will be long and time consuming and not at all what I had planned. Yet it feels like I'm being pulled in that direction and it's the way I have to go for a little while. It's easier more satisfying to kill someone on paper and read it over and over again-yeah it is that bad.

So as a warning I have one story more than half written that I am going to work on and hope to have out by Christmas but likely that will be all for a little while in the erotic romance department. I don't want to force it and I don't want my stories to be half-assed so as a warning the stories I had planned won't be rolling out the way I wanted. Who knows, maybe it will change as nothing in my life is set in stone more like quicksand but I have to go where the stories come and work to create and give the stories their full due. The stories take precedence it feels like I'm just here to transcribe and get it right. 

This definitely is no end to my erotic romance as I am working too damn hard to finish the one for Christmas but likely there will be radio silence for that and after for a little while. More a warning, when the time comes the stories will come. I'm lucky, as when the time comes they come hard and fast and it likely won't seem like that long but I felt the need to share as someone was kind enough to help me with a story I want so badly to tell but it won't be here for a while longer than I thought it would be. 

Life is what happens when you make plans, so don't make them. Enjoy it as it comes, one day at a time.

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