Saturday, August 16, 2014

Unsure of which direction to go

I enjoy blogging, it's the throwing against the walls to see if they stick. I don't really know that I want a response, I'm often just thinking out loud and am tired of hearing my voice when I'm talking to myself. When I started this blog it was my, sit my ass down and write something and make it coherent assignment. In research I had found the authors that blog had more success so while it felt mandatory it also was a small ocean of sanity in the chaos of writing and editing. In the past some of the blogs wrote themselves and others it was like pulling teeth. A suggestion someone came up with was have someone else write a blog post once a month and that's one less blog I have to write.  To which I say, I just don't know if my control freak nature will allow that. 

The problem is on one hand I'm inside jumping for joy and clapping my hands at the thought, then when I really think about it, I'm cursing long and hard and burying my face in my hands shaking my head, don't do it, don't fucking do it. Um, that should be the end of it right? But no, I keep thinking about it and it's something that could work out really great or it could blow up in my face and be a complete and utter clusterfuck. Yes, I did do an interview with Christa Tomlinson and it was worked out great. But, what about the other times? I am a huge fucking bitch and extremely picky when it comes to what I like to read and what I recommend to others. While, I did interview Christa there was also three paragraphs of the reasoning why and this might not ever happen again. What if I ask someone to do a guest spot and they say no or worse they say yes and it comes out awful? I obviously cannot say that but the whole time I'll be thinking it and wanting to kick my own ass.

I wouldn't want to have anyone on who's book I haven't read and right now I barely have time time read the book for book club. So this would add to an already jammed up schedule. I just don't know right now. 

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