Saturday, January 11, 2014

Where being a writer focused on erotica started for me

I have always wanted to be a writer but my main stories were mystery and with the field so very open and a lack of self-confidence although I wrote a few I never really finished anything. I love to read, just about everything except sci-fi and have always loved romance. I will admit that the romances I have preferred left the sex part to the imagination and I was content with that as I became quite well versed in sex at sixteen and was lucky enough to have a partner who had a lot of experience and was patient and guided me through all types of different sexual positions and acts until I found what I liked the best. That was amazing at only eighteen he had an almost an encyclopedic knowledge of sex and was willing to do whatever it took to make me happy and very, very giving. With him it was better than any story I could have ever read and so when the romances faded to black it was usually he and I in one experience or another. Sadly, we grew up and apart and our relationship came to an end yet even years later when I read romances it was him, not my current partner I usually thought about. There was some guilt there but what can I say, it really did feel as though he imprinted on me sexually.

After a few different partners I finally met someone who changed all of that. He was demanding sexually and pushed me out of my comfort zone. It was scary, exciting and gone were the memories of my first lover, to be replaced with new experiences. For the first time in a long time I wanted to do things to please him and so I started reading erotica, I had only paid attention to what had pleased me at the time and how to get those positions/acts into practice so now I needed more information and porn just doesn't do it for me. Of course a relationship that intense fizzled out almost as quickly as it began. I put away the toys and put all the erotica to the back of the shelf. I will admit though I did pull them out from time to time but it was rare.

So in my recent relationship we had met through an online dating website, I was in one city and he in another. We did the skype thing and we emailed and phone sex and I would send him emails of all the things I would like to do when we finally got to see each other again. At first when he told me he really enjoyed what I wrote for him I thought it was just the usual line to keep them coming (pun totally intended) but nope even when we both took the leap of faith and picked an alternate location and moved and we were together on a full time basis he asked for new stories. I was surprised, he admitted he loved what I wrote and used them to masturbate to. Huge surprise, what I asked happened to porn? I'm not a huge fan of porn but I'm not one of those women that refuses to 'allow' her significant other to watch it. Well, he said, he couldn't watch porn at work but he could read my stories and those were just as good or better... huh...

So considering how much I hate my job I figured, why the hell not. It's better to try and fail then never try at all.

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